Interesting topic on radio today. A woman in Kenya has agreed to share two husbands. She has been with each one for four years now. When they found out about each other and confronted her she says that she cannot be without either of them. So instead of fighting it out they have decided to sign a contract that will allow them to share her and live with her alternately as husbands and wife. This is the same as polygamy except that the roles are reversed, it’s called polyandry.
The two female DJ’s on the station immediately and vehemently said that they would never do it and one of them said that she can almost guarantee that no woman in South Africa will want it either. This was before they received a number of tweets and calls from ‘anonymous’ women saying that they would definitely go for it.
There are two points that are worth mentioning here:
- The two female DJs being against it and with much conviction.
- The response from the women listeners.
The first issue tells me that as much as they may think they are champions for women’s right they have clearly missed the mark here. Women being equal to men must be without condition or exception. What is sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander. All the time. Not when one group feels like it. If polygamy is ‘acceptable’ so too should polyandry. Or else what, are we saying women cannot handle more than one partner and men can? Are we not equal when it comes to this particular aspect? This is similar to the whole Wimbledon situation (more on that later). Had they argued on the principle of multiple partners by either sex then that would be a different story, and I would support them.
The second point tells me it is just a matter of time until this equality is reached. There are women who are evolving as they fight for men to evolve and accept them as their equal. Let me explain. If I am to treat you a certain way when I have not for the last 2000 years there is a change I need to go through to enable me to do this. Specifically, there are two things that must change, I must have the ability to treat you the way you expect and I must be willing.
The willingness part is easy. You either are willing or you are not. The more we evolve the more willing we will be. It is assumed that I have the ability already to treat you as my equal as that requires that I treat the way I would want to be treated. That’s easy right? Well, it gets a bit tricky when you refuse to be subjected to the same things I am (again Wimbledon). As a man when I hear that there is a woman out there who is practising polyandry I immediately think “Ok good. She is not being discriminated against because she is woman”. When I hear other women commenting that it doesn’t make sense as a woman and no woman wants to do that, I get confused. Why not, I ask. Because she’s a woman, isn’t that what you want, to be treated the same as men? The answer is again the evolution of the very women who want men to evolve and treat them a certain way.
Some women still only see this equality of the genders only the surface. They have not yet appreciated how deep it goes and what the consequences are. They become apparent when you are on your own and not in a public forum. And for real change to take place you accept it both in public and at home. Because gender equality is NOT a one way street.